Sane or Insane

Well today is a first for many things, my first blog and the first time in ages I've come out of the Dr's smiling.

Well most people will be aware of the usual feeling of dread when awaiting your appointment.Mine usually are it's not important enough or I am not dying therefore shouldn't be here wasting peoples time.Today however I finally decided to get help to give up smoking.I have tried all other methods and rather than give up quitting I realised the best idea was to get professional help.

So in to the nurses office I trundle thinking I don't have an illness or smoke that many a day that the nurse will prescribe me a very expensive stop smoking tablet.The actual issue I hit wasn't what I was expecting.Yes I'd done my research ( I am a little anal when it comes to taking tablets I have to look them up in the BNF finding out what the side effects are and such ).I knew that there can be rather scary side effects to this medication but thought "Hey it'll be fine". The nurse was pretty happy with my explanation that I'd tried various nicotine replacement therapies i.e patches gum and the microtabs.What nobody ever tells you is that these things burn when you either chew or allow them to dissolve slowly under your tongue.No wonder people giving up smoking sometimes revert through using said aids my God you have to have a mouth of steel to use them.

So after my explaination of why I was invading her office to request help on my quest to become smoke free. she dropped the lovely question of "Have you ever been depressed and were you treated for it?" cue my mind reaching back to my research and it pulling out the great side effect of said drug can be depression infrequently leading to suicidal thoughts. Ahh erm now then I could have lied through my teeth but didn't as I remembered she has my entire medical record sitting infront of her, so I grit my teeth and kindly explain that although yes I have previously had depression, it was circumstantial due to other issues that were at the time going on in my life and that although it wasn't all that long ago ( maybe about a year) I was never feeling suicidal and the issue has for all intents and purposes been dealt with. (maybe in time I will blog about the issue but I am not sure yet ).

So as you do I was sat watching her type in the computer the information that was relevant to my application to self medicate pills that will assist me to finally put the white sticks out once and for all.I notice her type something I have never been accused of "I feel that this is a very level headed lady". I've been called somethings in my life so far but until today I have never been informed that I have a head that you could probably balance something on.I'd assumed that I would drop in today and come out with my pills to help me but unfortunately no I've got to go through a lengthy shall we say interview as they need a lot of information, but hopefully after that I shall have my weapon against the nicotine.

I shall be posting here if i get it and will be doing anyway but hopefully doing so should some unwanted side effects arise I shall notice.